Hat Yai Isn't So Bad and Georgetown Might Be The Best

We left Phuket ready for anything and after yet another entire day on a bus we arrived in Hat Yai wanting only to shower and eat. We, of course, refused a tuk-tuk at the bus station because the walk was less than 2km to the hotels. Unfortunately we had NO idea which direction to walk in and ended up walking in circles for 20 minutes until we found the right road. Only we didn't know it was the right road. After asking directions from some white people who didn't speak English and thier Thai friend who didn't know where she was, Leighton and I decided to just ask the tuk-tuk man how much it cost to go to the hotel. 
Only 50 baht (~$1.66) later we arrived at Cathay Guest House. It was by far the biggest room we'd ever stayed in. I mean, it must have been a dorm room at some point, but now there were only 2 small beds in it. The bathroom was comical. Overall though it was good. Quiet and immaculately clean beds. We set off into the city to explore and forage. Winner!!
Hat Yai is exciting. It had more going on than most of the places we've been the last month. Lots of good food options and a fun ambience helped, too. We got a good night's sleep and woke up early enough to have a few hours in the city before our noon departure. We changed and spent the last of our baht and had what we assume was our last serving of pork for a while, then piled into the minibus bound for Malaysia: country number 5!

The minibus was fast and the highways in both Thailand and Malaysia are excellent. The only thing that came of it was further evidence that I attract crazy. Crazy comes at me like I've got a big neon sign advertising "free counseling" and "give-a-damns." A few other instances on the trip come to mind, but they aren't as vivid as these.

Case #1: The Other American
So we get in the van and it pulls around the block to another office with more people waiting. In comes the quiet, unassuming Indonesians, the tubby French bar owner and his Thai girlfriend, an elderly Malaysian man, two dowdy German girls, and The Other American. Tall, platinum blond pixie cut hair that's thinning on top, huge sunglasses, and a mouth that gives Julia Roberts a run for her money. Before the door is closed the driver has already yelled at her for putting her feet up and sitting in the wrong seat. She immediately turns around and starts talking to me. Me, the furthest person from her. Not Leighton who's just behind her. She word vomited all over me for the entire hour to the border. At the border some more comes up; Leighton casually plays his 'I'm deaf and don't speak English' game. Lady, by the way, represents all evils of America. Oil company exec in charge of throwing the EPA's fines into the shredder. Hates Obama. Republican who lives in Alaska and probably voted for Palin. Gross.
Oh, and randomly her son lives in Gurnee and down the street from Julie.

Case #2: Angry Malaysian
As we were getting our bags back into the van after immigration there was a Malaysian man wearing an Australian style bush hat who was standing near the car. Was he an official? Attached to the van service? No. He was waiting for me.
"Where are you from?"
"Uhh..." I said, not sure if Malaysia is one of the places, like Vietnam, where I pretend to be a Kiwi. "USA" I just went for it.
"Ohhhh! You lucky, man! You have no problem to come to my country. You come in and travel around and no problems!"
"Yeah, we are lucky. It's nice to come here. I'm excited to visit Malaysia!" I said, oblivious to the giant trap.
"Fuck America! Fuck that place! I go there and they treat me like a criminal. Always check my passport. 'Where you go?' 'Why you go there?' Fuck America! I just want to travel."
"... Yeah, I don't know. It's different there." I stumbled.
"Why?! Why they do that?! What so fucking wrong with my people? You people come here no problem..."

At that point I all but ran for the van door and jumped in. He was still ranting when we pulled away a few minutes later.

So what is that all about? I attract the crazy. Maybe I'm that crazy? No. I'm calm. I don't say anything too insane to strangers...

So then we drove another 2 hours during which time my headphones remained firmly in my ears, although not always on. Best to avoid more vomit from The Other American. We came up to Butterworth and circled around to the ferry port. Then, just as we were getting used to the idea of it, we left mainland Malaysia and floated across the northern mouth of the Straights of Melacca over to Pulau Penang, Penang Island.

Having never heard of Georgetown except from the Lonely Planet I didn't entirely know what to expect. Would it really be the cosmopolitan semi-metro island it claimed? From the ferry our first glimpse said 'yes.' A city! Buildings! Roads! We could see it all: the clock tower rising shyly from the row of pastel-hued colonials lining the dock, the 66 story Komtar office building, endless condo blocks disappearing into the verdant green mountains. It was exciting. I was excited. As excited as I'd been the first time I arrived in Thailand years ago and saw my first towers of limestone and jungle.

Our van dropped us off in the heart of backpackerland. It was there, in Chinatown that we found accommodation at The Stardust Guest House. It was another big room in a quiet upstairs room. The shared bathroom was clean but annoying. Our first of the trip though. They had a strict no clothes washing policy. Leighton and I violated it daily. Ha!

We did heaps in Georgetown. The highlights were the downtown, the tropical rainforest national park, the mall (sooo cold) and the beach. It was a very good week. Everyday we walked for hours and oggled food stalls and sun-drenched boulevards until the daily 4 o'clock rain storm. Then we ran home and hid until the 7 o'clock abatement. We usually had an hour of dry skies to grab some dinner at the Indian place or the roti man or the Chinatown food market that served basically everything else. Then we walked to Little India for some of the best (and cheapest) samosas EVER! Half the nights we had to run back to the guest house in the rain, hiding in doorways and under street food awnings. It all added up to the most adventurous week we've had in a very long time.

The food was a nice change. Instead if the average fried rice or noodles we had been eating for 3 months. With the confluence of so many different cultures came food of every scent, color and texture. The best and mist unique was nasi kandar (kandar rice). Picture a banana leaf piled with rice. On that rice is the sauce from at least three different curries. Completely surrounding the rice is 2-3 kinds of vegetables, each in their own sauce and spice mixture, and whatever meat you want straight from a stew of curry and juice. Squeeze a lime on top and grab some chapati (tortilla chips but better) and pay the man $3. If your stomach doesn't explode at least your tastebuds will.

Pictures to come soon. They tell more of the story and better, anyway.

Kuala Lumpur was next and we were looking forward to the big city. Time for Africa and plenty of Asia left to explore...

Phuket and an Old Friend

When we finally arrived in Phuket Town on the island of Phuket we were tired and hungry and a little cranky. All we wanted to do was eat and have a shower. But first we had to get to our final destination. Normally we like to walk from a bus depot to our hotel. Sometimes we ask them to come pick us up. In this case we could do neither. So, a tuk-tuk was in order.

Unfortunately, in Phuket tuk-tusk are more expensive than 14 hour bus rides in Vietnam. And no matter how hard you haggle the price doesn't change because they all agree on rates before the day starts. So after milling around and getting crankier we decided to just get in the damned tuk-tuk and pay the 300 baht ($10). Then there was the matter of a destination.

"Do you know Palai Green?" I asked.
"You go boxing?"
"NO! Palai Green. A house. Near Chaifa East Rd. Near the zoo."
"You go Patong? Karon beach? What hotel you stay?"
"Not a hotel. A house. Palai Green." I was desperate at this point, showing him the location on a map and pointing to the name on my iPod.
"Ahhhhhh! BaLai Geeeeen!" he moaned. At least he got it. At least we got there.

And as we were rounding the corner toward 'Balai Geeeeeen' we heard "Mike" from the shadows, and out came Melinda! Her roommate, Sarah, and her were just grabbing dinner from a small roadside cafe. Melinda jumped in and took us the rest of the way to her house. We settled in quickly and then walked back and ate some really good and really cheap Thai food and got to know each other for the second time.

She was just as I remembered her: funny and laid-back, honest and effortlessly charismatic, and just a touch silly. I was a nervous wreck, for once. When we got back to their house we played some cards and had some drinks. I paced and blabbered and must have seemed like such a fool. Thankfully Leighton stepped up and got his conversation face on and acted normal enough for us both. By the end of the night we had learned a new card game and been reacquainted. All was well.

The next morning the girls left for work and we walked to a 7/11 for what was now our 'usual' breakfast. Then we went back to their house and turned on the TV. That is, essentially, where we stayed for the next 6 days. We were a little travel weary by then. Tired of being on the move, bored of Thailand's epic beauty, and so sick of reading that all we wanted to do was just veg out. So we did. And it was wonderful.

But that's not all we did. We made it in to town a few times and explored the colonial era (Portugeuse) buildings and ate some really good food. We went to the beach one day and were totally disgusted by all the fat Europeans (not a single non-white person in sight, it was like Hitler had won) and by the outrageously overpriced food. Were we back on Koh Pha Ngan? What was going on!? Foolish.

We figured out how to use the local busses and did pretty well getting to and fro. We did plenty of walking still as the bus stop was down the main street about 3km. Just outside a Tesco, which is how we came across the ingredients we need to cook a little Korean Bibimbap for the girls. That meal was an effort as neither of us had been in a kitchen for months!

Anyway, the whole week went by quickly and we were suddenly on our way again. Hat Yai here we come!

Ayutthaya & Food Porn

We took a side trip to the old capital. It was similar to Ankor, but not nearly as big or pretty.

Also... some food porn:

Relaxin the Days Away on Koh Pha Ngan

I don't have much to say about our stay in Koh Pha Ngan's Haad (beach) Yao. It was really beautiful and we spent almost all of our time relaxing. We woke up, got coffee and breakfast from the 7/11, went to the beach, had lunch from 7/11 (usually a very cheap hot dog), went back to the beach, went home, showered, read, got dinner and watched the sunset, went home and slept.

It was amazing. I loved every minute we spent on the beach! We are now both VERY brown. Yay!

So... the motor bike incident sucked. Basically I crashed it within 15 seconds of renting it, right in front of the guy I rented it from. Not happy about that. It was expensive and the guy is basically a huge creep who buys his wife nice things with the money he extorts from tourisits. Literally, charges $100 or more to completely replace parts that have a scratch that are less than 2cm long. These parts actually cost about $15 to replace. So... somewhere Buddha and Jesus are crying because people like this man pray to them and claim to be "good" human beings. Karma's a bitch is all I have to say.

We got a bit bored of it all by the end and are excited for Phuket. We'll be staying with a girl I knew in high school who lives there now. We are looking forward to some more downtime and a TV. HOORAY!

Bangin Bangkok: Guest Contributor's Premier

Oh my, I (Leighton) have been given the responsibility of reporting on our week in Bangkok! Be warned, this will not be in chronological order so may get confusing. Let's go...

So we arrive at Survarnabhumi International to be greeted with 30 something degrees temps and sunny skies, hallelujah! No more thermal underwear, woollen clothes or pants. We took the airport express bus to the legendary Khao San Rd where we hunted for a room. Prices were higher than expected so we ended up at the end of Rambutri Rd (adjacent to Khao San) in a reasonably priced guesthouse with more amenities than expected for the price (a/c, cable and a private bathroom - score!)

A highlight of our time was meeting up with now Bangkok locals the wonderful Jane and Lindsay (fellow CELTA graduates from our Chiang Mai class from November.) Jane keyed us up on the sky train and ferry services which were amazingly cheap and got us around the city in no time. While we're on transport: we of course did another insane amount of walking to take us to many the parts of the city public transport didn't. We also mastered a single bus route, the number 982? 152? I can't remember, but took us in a not so direct but round about way to the train station a few times where we rode the long distance train for day excursion and our final departure from the city, but more about that later. Back to Jane and Lind's who were great hosts recommending spots to see and meeting up on their days off. We were also the honorary first guests to Lindsays amazing 18th story apartment in the Pin Klao suburb of the city. We had a great day of snacks, beers and movies with her in her living room! Yes, her apartment has rooms! Can you sense my excitement? It put any Korean apartment I ever saw to shame as did the price which was a lot more reasonable than we expected. We later met up with her colleagues and had some drinks in Kaho San. Having a day to lounge in a clean, nice home with movies and no noisy neighbors was heaven! Being this transient for so long really does make you appreciate the small things that only 'home' can offer :)

We managed to spend a fair amount of time in the downtown area of Siam browsing the insane shopping metropolis that is this region. Mall after pristine mall with 10+ stories with stores ranging from Watsons and Adidas to Gucci and a Lamborghini dealership!?! A shoppers heaven and an oasis from the heat for us as we participated in a good deal of window shopping.

The temples, though gaudy covered in gold and all sparkly, were a change and striking in their own right, especially under spot lights at night where they shimmered in a beautiful way. We ventured through Wat Pho, little India, China town and Ratchadamri (where most of the embassies are located) so Michael could add pages to his puny American passport!! We saw the locals exercising in Lumphini Park and participating in religious ceremonies for Magha Puja (one of the many public holidays in Thailand which I knew as I remember the first time I was looking at teaching English, I sat throughout a meeting at my old job counting the number of public holidays each country had in my diary and so it turned out Thailand was number one! Interesting hey!). We also saw hookers in force in a few dirty alleys in Siliom and were invited to Ping Pong shows (which we did not attend!!) couldn't get a bottle of beer as it was the religious holiday. We also saw some Mui Thai boxing, did a day trip in the sweltering heat to Ayatayah to see the ancient capital.

Anyway, this has gotten way to scattered and long, I've missed bits and forgotten others. Important points to note are that I'm happy to be back in the tropics, loving the food and generally impressed with Bangkok.

Next, off on a night train to the islands...

Thanks for reading this less elegant than usual update!
Xo Leighton

Hanoi

Started this blog in Hanoi, finished it today in our bungalow while it rained. No captions for the photos just now. I'll leave the blog I started at the bottom.


Hanoi
Very sorry to have let this go for so long! Hanoi seems like a million years ago. On our return from Halong Bay we tried to check back into the same guest house we'd stayed in our first night there. The owner had asked us for a deposit in order to reserve the room, which seemed shady so we said no.
She was shady alright.
Upon trying to check back in she failed to tell us that she didn't actually have a room and kept trying to get us to pay her before seeing a room. Then another couple would come in to check the rates and rooms and she'd show them a room. We were upset because we couldn't understand why she kept showing other people the room but wouldn't show us.
Turns out the room she was showing had already been reserved via email. She was trying to give it away! It was more than we wanted to pay so she wasn't offering it to us.
Then she tried to get us pay her again. We asked to see the room and we were walked across the street to a really dirty hotel we'd passed on staying in that first morning at 6am.
Some kind of shady!
So we promised her we would come back in 30 minutes when she might have rooms (magically?).
We asked at another place on the same street and we walked to their #2 location. Clean and quiet. No shady dealing. DONE!
We grabbed our bags and checked in for 5 nights. Shady lady lost our on $60 from us.

Hanoi was another city n Vietnam. We liked it alright and the Old Quarter was cozy and colorful. People from everywhere were everywhere. A moment of distraction and you'd be run down by a motorbike, step into someone's sidewalk frying pan, or smack into a row of motos parked on what you thought was the footpath. Busy and hectic and exciting... and cold! Another week of cold is not what we needed! Luckily we had a few warm days in there.
One day for lunch we stopped at a street corner crowded with locals of all ages and economic means sitting on dirty little plastic stools designed for kindergartners. The all greedily slurped at bowls of what looked like pho. We found some empty stools and ordered one each, just 30k dong, about $1.50usd. It was a crab broth with noodles, handfuls of fresh herbs, large bits of tofu seasoned with chilis and tomato. It was absolutely fantastic! Maybe the best thing we ate in Vietnam..

We walked everywhere because we're cheap-ass bastards and because you can eat more sweets and ice cream if you burn a few more calories in a day.
We walked at least 20km one day roundtrip. We started at the Thai embassy (another 60 day visa- still free). We got there too early and decided to grab breakfast from a noodle shop around the corner. We'd recently been warned to ask the price first. We did. Twenty thousand dong, about $1usd. "Sounds great," we said with smiles.
Suddenly a feast was set before us. "Did we order this?" and "oh well, can't be more than a dollar," was our response.
The food was good and definitely topped-up or appetites. When it came time to pay things became interesting. I think the exchange went something like this:
"300,000 dong."
With a sudden fury, "Um, no. I don't think so!" Leighton fired daggers from his eyes. I think it scared the lady because she was pretty meek about it.
We spent a couple minutes trying to tally and used a calculator to communicate. She really did want 300k dong ($15). For those of you thinking, "that's not too bad" you should remember we were spending about $8-$9 a day, of which $5-$6 was for a room. Paying 300k dong for noodles was like paying $80 for a hot dog. Ludicrous!
So we decided to stand up for foreigners and hopefully make rule think twice before trying to rip us off again.
We gave them 100k total and yelled and called them lying thieves. We took pictures of them and plan to post them on travel sites and to send a scathing email to the Vietnam Tourist Police as well. No one will eat there again. Not that we saw anyone eating there any of the times we walked by after that.

Anyway, after the Thai visa was dealt with we walked to Ho Chi Minh's mausoleum. As creepy as it sounds. Rumored to be wax, the embalmed remains of 'Uncle Ho', the leader of the revolution, sit on a massive square that you can't walk on. The concrete structure is only accessible
After security checkpoints akin to an airport, checking of cameras and all other electronic devices at a depot, and removing all hats and glasses. We were quietly whispering about the experience and were angrily scolded for talking in line 100 meters from the entrance. Then I tried reading the section of the guide book on the mausoleum and was angrily scolded for reading while still 50 meters away. Mind you the scoldings came from guys with machine guns.
The body was creepy and should be disposed of. Let's get that out of the way. Icky old man who looks very dead and waxen and not at all dignified or glorious.
A minute later we had our cameras back and were avoiding the entrance fee to see where Uncle Ho "grew up" and his presidential palace (opulent for a communist...)

We decided to walk another 7pm from the Old Quarter and visit the Museum of Ethnology. It was really fun! We learned about the various ethnic groups of SE Asia and saw very good exhibits on their culture, rituals, and housing. We even went into some reproductions in the sculpture garden out back.
The rest of the week we just bummed around as per usual in Vietnam.
The Monday morning we had our flight a taxi picked us up and off we went. Bangkok called our names! We heard it, carried in on the warm morning wind. "Come back! It's warm and delicious here!"

So off we flew.








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After Halong Bay we didn't know what to expect of Hanoi. We'd heard it was fun. We'd heard it wasn't. After the hotel debacle was cleared up we found a supermarket and stocked up for dinner. Along the walk we got hungry and stopped for a late lunch (yes, after our massive lunch earlier in the day). It was hard to find something that wasn't exorbitantly overpriced. We got angrier and angrier as prices reflected the greed of the shop owners rather than their supposed aptitude toward being more friendly than the more capitalist southerners. "Yeah right!" we said.

Eventually, exhausted and hungry, we stumbled across a lady serving people from a street corner. She had set up her stove and some plastic seats a la

Cruising The Bay of The Sunken Dragons

Halong Bay literally means the 'bay of the sunken/submerged dragons' because ancient Vietnamese saw the nearly 2000 islands as a family of dragons protruding from the sea. It is as epic a view today for this traveler as it was for those fisherman. It goes on forever. It looks like a trick of the eye. It is incredible.

I'm only slightly getting ahead of myself. When we started walking in the pre-dawn streets of Hanoi's Old Quarter we had essentially no idea where we were or where we were going. With only 1 hotel in mind we set off... magically we found our way! But it was closed. So was everything else. Fortunately, in the same alley as our hotel, a small noodle bar was setting its first bowls for the day and we snagged a few seats. Hot noodles have never been so good for two guys wearing shorts on a cold, dark morning. It hit the spot and gave us a spot to wait out the sunrise and the opening of the hotels.

We checked in, spent most of the day napping and buying food. We were leaving the next morning for Halong Bay and that was about all we could think about.

Fast forward to Monday and we were off! The pick up and ride out were uneventful except that Leighton correctly answered a trivia question (What is the favorite hobby of Vietnamese people? Riding their motorbikes and honking, he answered correctly). He won a map of Vietnam, a beer, and a toy. We got the port and onto a small ferry boat that took us to our ship: the Elizabeth Sails.

She was a medium to large ship for the harbor with 2 main decks and a top-deck open to the elements with loungers and tables. We checked into our room and were very happy to find the promised "luxury, very VIP for you" was not a lie. The beds were just singles, but the sheets felt like God himself made them soft. I guess the guest house accommodations have made us appreciative of the little things in life, like a clean shower.

We had lunch and then cruised to a cave, the "Surprising Cave." See picture below for the spoiler. Lunch was yummy and took a long time to eat. For 6 people at a table they brought out plate after plate of various dishes including fried chicken, french fries, clams, rice, and more.

The cave from the outside.

The cave was REALLY big.

The "surprise" turned out to be a rock that looked (vaguely) like a penis pointing at a hole in the ceiling. Gross.

It was an epically large cave. The bay has its beauty. Then we kayaked around a bit before getting back onto the "small boat" which took us to the Elizabeth Sails.

Then we got back on board and had some hot showers before setting off for our sleeping area, the "VIP area, for luxury." It was the spot where about 6 boats park versus 100. Thankful for that!

We met some other people including a wonderful lady doctor from South Africa who travels with her MD. Smart lady and very fun! We really liked her! We also met a couple from Quebec who spoke excellent English. I ended up playing cards with him and Ms. Doctor for a while, then our tour guide, Tony, sat with us and taught us a Vietnamese game. It was a little confusing, but fun.

Then dinner and drinks and karaoke. No more details. Or pictures. Sorry. Okay, okay. Dinner was yummy. Crab cakes, squid stirfry, beef with bean sprouts, rice, soup, and more! We were happy to stuff our faces.

Next morning after breakfast Leighton and I hitched a ride to Cat Ba island (everyone else only chose to take a 2 day journey, we did 3) and met up with a new group of people. We bussed to the national park and then, instead of going inside, rode bikes around the perimeter and then back. It was okay, somewhat scenic...

Then the other people got checked into their hotels (we were sleeping on the boat again) and then lunched before heading for Monkey Island. Lunch was pretty good. We had our own table, so we didn't have to share. It was different from what was on the boat but much of a muchness.

Yay for monkeys on the beach! One tried to steal Leighton's water bottle while he wasn't looking. Jerks!

We kayaked here as well before heading back to Cat Ba where we waited in a hotel lobby for an hour before getting driven back to the port and our boat, now waiting in the same spot as the night before.

We had just enough time to shower before dinner (exactly the same menu as night 1), where we met another group of people. This one included some Germans, a couple of Austrians, and a bunch of others we never actually talked to. After dinner we passed out... at 9.

The next morning we woke up, ate the same breakfast again (fried eggs, toast, SPAM, and fruit), and headed back to port. We had a quick lunch at a hotel there before bussing back to Hanoi.

When we arrived were wrecked but still had to deal with a hotel room. We hadn't wanted to pay the place we stayed the first time to hold our room because, well, that's shady. So she didn't have a room for us. She tried to scheme and scam but eventually we just left and found another place where we've been staying and been very happy.